hello again. I am home from uni, sitting on the sofa in my sweaty cycling clothes waiting to go in the shower. MrC has cooked a lovely lasagne. I feel a bit ill today- a bit feverish and sore throat. Hope the dreaded tonsilitis isn’t coming back, I took the full course of antibiotics, honest!
Uni is, well, different. It’s different being back after working in a proper job for over a year. It’s nice to be reading and thinking, but it reminds me of some of the things I don’t like, like long hours and working in isolation. But I do like asking questions and getting results and asking more questions. Asking questions is my favourite thing. I am happy that some of the things I tried to do when studying for 2 years with ferns I’ve managed to do in a couple of weeks in the flowering plant I’m working with now. It makes me feel a little bit better about myself but also a bit sad that I could perhaps have a PhD already, and now I’ll struggle to get a masters. But, i have some sort of new perspective. I know it isn’t the be-all and end-all. I know there are other jobs out there. Being an academic isn’t the only way, and you only realise that when you’re not in academia.
The gunner still thinks I’m fucked up but then I think she is. I don’t hate her so much anymore, I went to see her to clear the air, and I think there are some things about her I don’t like, but then I don’t have to be like her, and there are of course some good characteristics. I feel good not to hate, a bit like getting over my divorce. I know it’s not good to have a supervisor that’s like a mum. Or like my mum.
It’s lovely and sunny here, even if I’m a bit shivery. Summer is nice, long days are nice and makes it easy to get up. I don’t think I will find it so in the winter, nor cycling 18 miles a day if it’s raining.
I am pretty busy as I now have 3 hrs less in my day, and concentrating on getting things done, and I can’t use the internet at uni very much. But I am reading your blogs, even if I am not always commenting. Your posts make me happy and I feel like I’m in touch even if I’m not.
Shower’s free, pie for now.





























